Entries from July 2010 ↓

When word began circulating a year and a half ago that Machete might become a reality, I doubted that the actual movie could ever live up to the fake trailer that was featured in Grindhouse. But judging by the new (and very NSFW) red-band trailer shown below, Machete’s star-studded casting hasn’t stopped it from having all the nudity and over-the-top gore that the original preview promised. Machete won’t just cut you. He’ll rip out your organs and use them as transportation. But if Jessica Alba’s waiting in a shower for him somewhere, I suppose I can understand his zeal.

So Calvin Klein went and put a QR code over the billboard on Houston Street where past racy ads have caused predictable scandals. Scanning the code lets you get uncensored content on your phone, and it was a fabulous idea. The problem was that the content that was revealed, shown below (at least until YouTube pulls it), was barely racy. I think I saw .5 seconds of titties, and the abs were backlit and grainy. Let me explain something to you CK: two people making out is no longer enough, even when it gets three-way for a fleeting moment. I mean, the threesome is already so mainstream in advertising (Hornitos, Jimmy John’s, half of everything ever done by Axe) that a place like Joe’s Crab Shack doesn’t balk at implying an FFFM. Meanwhile, the German tech sector is already ratcheting up to FFFFFFM. You really have to go four or more if you still want a chance at shocking, particularly when your last billboard in that very spot had a four-way. You know, you brought this on yourself, conditioning us to expect more and more perverted content from CK every time. But face it, Perrier is beating you for sex appeal right now. Perrier. They make water. Step it up, CK.

You’d think an elder statesman like the Red Stripe Ambassador would know better than to cover Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” in his musical debut. That song can make any band terrible in ways that not even jangly reggae stylings can overcome. It doesn’t help that His Excellency can’t sing on key. The video is the newest ad collaboration by comedy duo Tim and Eric, who’ve also done work with Old Spice and Absolut. But their Red Stripe music video really takes over-the-top annoyance to a new level, making you wonder what audience they possibly had in mind with this spot. The only success here is the continuation of Tim and Eric’s resolve to never be funny.